It’s a familiar story—we all know someone who could thrive with a partner who matches their worth. Too often, women remain in relationships that no longer serve their growth or happiness. And sometimes, the relationship that they are in can even be considered toxic.

The narratives endlessly circle.

Why didn’t she just leave if she was unhappy?

Why did she tolerate the disrespect?

Why did she stay so long?

People who have never been stuck in a toxic, unhealthy relationship struggle to understand the complexities involved. When society hears about women enduring physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, it’s far too easy to point fingers at the woman instead of the abuser and/or toxic person.

Women staying in toxic relationships can often be explained through biological and psychological factors rooted in science. Our brains are biologically wired to favor familiarity over uncertainty, even when that familiarity is harmful. Faced with the discomfort of the unknown, we may choose to remain in situations that don’t serve us—especially when our basic needs, such as safety, shelter, and support, are at stake.

This response is rooted in our biological drive for survival. The amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for processing fear and detecting threats, tends to view change as a potential danger. For many women, leaving a toxic relationship can feel like risking essential stability, including financial security, housing, or social connections—all of which are critical to our sense of safety and well-being. Pair that with societal norms or fears of judgment, and the emotional cost of leaving can feel insurmountable.

You can be the most educated, strong, well-adjusted woman, but when you’re in the thick of the fog, it’s hard to see past the hand you’re holding right in front of your eyes. Research shows that most women won’t escape toxic cycles unless they have a strong support system and the resources to do so. And even then, it’s still incredibly daunting.

The next time you are tempted to judge a woman’s situation, I encourage you to approach it with empathy. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors, nor can you fully understand the complex factors that keep her feeling stuck. Walking away isn’t always as simple as it seems.

Some stories don’t have happy endings. 

And many of these unhappy endings might have been avoided if women had access to the right support systems and tools, empowering them to take that first leap of faith and to lean onto community programs and resources for support.

To the woman who is feeling stuck: I see you, and there is a way out.

Hold tight to the belief that the life ahead of you holds more promise and happiness than what’s behind you.

Trust your intuition—if something doesn’t feel right, it likely isn’t. You don’t need to have a detailed plan for what comes next. Just take that first step. I promise you, you’ll find your footing along the way.

Even if it’s not okay right now, it will be someday.

Xo, Chels