If there’s one thing I’ve struggled with, it’s setting boundaries—especially in the workplace. As a recovering people-pleaser, I know how overwhelming and stressful it can feel to establish them. But I’ve learned that boundaries are essential for avoiding burnout and protecting your well-being. Over time, I’ve built a solid work-life balance, which has been crucial for preserving my mental health—all thanks to the boundaries I worked so hard to create.

First, it’s important to remember that establishing boundaries won’t always be comfortable. Think about the reason why you feel the need to create boundaries in the professional setting. It is often because we are feeling overworked, stressed, and out of control. Something needs to change. Somehow, we need to dial it back. We may need to ask permission to have our supervisor take something off our plate, or we may need to ask a colleague for help. These are not easy tasks, especially when you are known for being a team player and a hard worker. It’s like a muscle that requires constant flexing. Creating boundaries gets easier with time and practice, I promise!

What I have had to remind myself is that I am setting these boundaries to protect my own mental health, and healthy, competent individuals know how to effectively protect themselves from burnout.

I know I’m not alone in this struggle. I recently asked via a poll on my Instagram stories what sort of content y’all are most interested in, and boundary-setting was the most voted answer. Disclaimer: I am not an expert, but I am getting there! Within this post, I will share some tangible tips on what has worked for me, along with incorporating insight and strategies I have learned from various books I have read (see below). Without further ado, let’s get started.

The first thing I did to protect my mental health was to disable my work email on my phone.

People should not be able to get 24/7 access to you, but in today’s world, people expect to. Because of the times we are living in, it is up to you to draw the line and change this narrative. People will continue to have unlimited access to you unless as long as you allow them to! Because of this, I was only able to check my work email at home if I intentionally logged onto my email with my computer.

On a similar note, limit your text interactions within the evening when it is work-related.

Some people do not get stressed texting about work in the evening hours, but for me, I certainly did. I would find it very hard to be present with my family or relax if I was getting text messages about the next day’s agenda at 8:00pm. What helped me was setting ‘Do Not Disturb’ on my phone (I set mine for 7 pm to 7 am). You will have to decide what your limits are with communication. Because of my high anxiety, I did not have a very high threshold. Let your close colleagues know what to expect out of you from the very beginning. I usually make a joke out of it with my office. I would joke that I’m sleeping past 7pm (which was true on may occasions) . 😉

Delegate & ask for help if you are overwhelmed.

This is often a hard one, but it is necessary. Oftentimes, we struggle to ask for help because we don’t want to be perceived by our colleagues or boss as weak or lazy. However, we can’t sustain at going a hundred miles an hour at all times. Sure, there are busy seasons at work, but you shouldn’t feel suffocated constantly. If you feel like you are constantly drowning, you may need to either 1.) delegate tasks; or 2.) have a conversation with your supervisor about your workload. Be solution-oriented when you have this conversation. Are there tangible, realistic things that you can take off your plate? Try not to get emotional about it. Be professional, systems-oriented, polite, yet firm when you state your needs.

Learn to say no, and don’t feel the need to explain why.

If your workplace is constantly asking things of you that are above and beyond what your job duties are, it is okay to say no. Now, please don’t confuse this concept with going above and beyond in your current role during busy seasons. I think there is a stark contrast between being a dedicated worker and constantly being asked to do things that are plain taking advantage of you. Especially if you are in a helping field, such as education, nursing, social work, etc, it can be easy for others to ask things of you and expect you to pick up the slack. “Will you cover my night shift tomorrow? Something came up!” “I had a chaperone drop out, can you chaperone the dance tomorrow night?” “I need another person for this committee, can you help us out?” Trust me, saying no has been one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned. But again, once you start saying no, it gets easier. There is nothing wrong with kindly and politely declining, and without providing an explanation! “I am so sorry, but I can’t take that shift. I hope you find someone!” “I wish I could help you out, but I am not able to chaperone the dance this time. Please let me know for next time!” Your colleague might be annoyed with you in the moment, but they will get over it. Your deteriorating mental health is not worth constantly putting others’ needs before your own. Read that again!

Remember: You are not a b*tch if you set boundaries. If people love and care for you, they will understand. If you still feel anxiety setting these boundaries, I have found it helpful to say something along the lines of, “Please don’t take offense that I didn’t text you back, I like to keep work at work for my own mental-wellbeing! I hope you understand!” Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share WHY you are setting the boundaries; it humanizes you. And if there are certain individuals that you work closely with, especially supervisors, that expect more out of you or are not cognizant of your needs, perhaps it’s time for a conversation.

Tools/resources that have helped me set boundaries:

– Boundary Boss by Terri Cole – HIGHLY recommend this book! There are SO many valuable tips and resources.
– Following @the.holistic.psychologist (Dr. Nicole LePera) on Instagram – she is probably my favorite psychotherapist to follow. She’s written How to Do the Work. She is fantastic and her content is very healing.

Hope this helps!! 🙂

xo, Chels

Photography by @thecreativecompanybyamanda